Have you ever hooked up with someone and the next day, found a FaceBook friend request from them? Social media is a giant part of our lives now. There are a lot of pros and cons to it, but you might be wondering, "Should I add my hookup on FaceBook?" It's a question worth considering extensively before making a decision.
The first question to ask is obviously, whether or not you intend to hook up with the person again. If the answer is 'no', then it's an incredibly quick and easy decision. Just delete the friend request. If you weren't expecting them to want to stay in touch or hook up again, and you have no interest in it, then that's the way to keep it. If you find yourself running into them at a bar or something, and they ask you why you didn't accept their friend request, you can simply play dumb, and say you didn't get their request.
If you are interested in either staying in touch with or hooking up with your hookup again though, you're probably going to have to accept their friend request. Depending on how jealous or snoopy they struck you as when you hooked up will determine whether or not you set them to limited profile access or not though. We think that you should probably set limited profile as the default setting for any hookup who sends you a friend request you don't particularly want. If things end up getting serious down the line, you can always change their settings. Let's take a look at some of the things you need to take into consideration if you have a little extra time to weigh your different options, and what they could mean for your future relationship with the hookup. We should also take a look at some of the potential bad online etiquette that you could be opening yourself up to by accepting a friend request from someone you've hooked up with, but don't know very well.
The first thing you're going to want to do is check your pictures on FaceBook, and see how many of them are with previous exes or hookups. Heck! Even if they're predominantly with friends who could look like an ex. There's probably nothing suggesting that your hookup is going to be jealous, but know for sure that they're going to go through your old pictures. That's what everyone does whenever they become FaceBook friends with someone. It might also be worth going through your last few months of posts, just to make sure that you didn't post anything dumb or embarrassing that might make your hookup decide they don't really want to pursue you further. Of course a better way to do this would be to just make sure you're always maintaining the image of having a great life and great taste with everything you post on your wall, then you don't have to worry about who sends you a friend request, because you'll be confident that your profile is tight.
Maybe this is your first time being friend requested by a hookup. Probably it isn't though. Think back on how you dealt with the situation before. When you accepted or didn't accept the previous request, did you make a mental note and decide that that was how you were going to deal with the situation if it ever arose again? If you did, you can of course just stick with your protocol if it worked out well for you before. Keep in mind that social media changes a lot faster than it used to these days, and you might want to give it a moment's thought, whether or not the way people use FaceBook has changed since then, and if they have, if your protocol will still be effective.
Whatever the case, it might be a good idea to write down some tips, tricks, and notes from this article, and when you're done reading it, create a plan for any future sort of unwanted FaceBook friend requests you may receive after hooking up.
Limited profile was created by Facebook for when we get a friend request that we feel like we can't reject without creating a lot of drama that we don't want, or hurting feelings that we care about. It's the part of the platform where you'll usually find someone's parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins that they don't really like. It's also a perfect spot to put exes, friends who chime in with a problematic comment every month or two when you post something political. It might feel mean to lump your recent hookup in this group, but until you know how things are going to shake out, it's the best way to do things. When you approve their request, you should send them a message with a cute joke, and letting them know that they now have access to see everything you've ever told the internet. Because they're on a limited profile though, tell them you're in the process of trying to use FaceBook less, because you feel like it's distracting you from more important things in life, so if they want to keep up to date with you, they're going to have to do it in person. This will let them know that you want to hook up with them again, and their response will let you know whether or not the feeling is mutual. Of course it is though! They sent you the friend request, didn't they?
If you're seeing other people at the same time, you might either want to not add those other people to FaceBook for the time being. If they decide they want to post a picture of the two of you on your wall, and your recent hookup sees it, there might be drama to deal with.
The current notification settings that FaceBook has with its event pages is really tricky if you're interested in keeping your plans to yourself, and not screaming from the top of Mount FaceBook what films, concerts, book readings, and restaurant openings you're going to. If you click that you're "Interested", FaceBook takes that to mean that you're interested in telling all of your friends that you're going. So if you say have a date planned with someone else, and you don't want your new hookup showing up, or sending you a message asking if you if you're really going, because they were thinking about buying a ticket to that show too, there's a trick to get around it. Simply click on the three dots at the top of the event, which will bring up more options. One of them is "Save Post". Simply click on that option, and the event will be saved to your calendar, without showing you as having RSVP'd. Even better, is that because most people don't know about this social media privacy/life hack, you'll still be able to see who has RSVP'd for the event, so that if your hookup has clicked "Attending", you can have a plan in place in case you run into them with your date. This all sounds rather paranoid, and perhaps it is, but this is the world that social media has created, for better or worse, and when you find yourself seeing more than one person at once, it can be both a blessing and a curse.
We're not sure if poking was ever really cool, or an effective method of flirting, but it's always interesting when you find out that someone you're hooking up with or dating is a poker. If you've ever been poked on FaceBook before, it's probably been either as a joke by a friend, or by someone who was trying to flirt with you, that you weren't interested in. Or maybe even your mom, not understanding what it's for. 90% of the time, we're going to send a 'poke' back, but a very small portion of the time, are we going to be happy doing it. If your hookup is a poker, they better be really good in bed.
Some people overdo it with the 'like' option on FaceBook. We have to admit that we might even be guilty of it. That's fine once your online friendship is up and running though. People post things on their walls because they want those likes. There's something a little bit unsettling though about a new friend (especially a hookup that you're still not sure about), going through your old posts (which we've already acknowledge that we know is going to happen), and going 'like' happy on posts that date year back. It creates an image of at least mild obsession, or maybe intense boredom. Either way, even if it's innocent, and won't amount to anything, it sets off some alarm bells, that your new FaceBook friend's interactions with your posts might need to be monitored.
One of the biggest fears of a new FaceBook friend/hookup is that they will comment on your posts more than you feel comfortable with. We've all been through this before. Where we've gone on a date or two with someone, and it seems like things are going well, so you add them on FaceBook, and they start commenting on your posts so often that your close friends start sending you text messages asking you who they are, and what's going on between the two of you. There's an even worse version of this FaceBook personality, which thankfully you don't see very often, but from time to time it appears. It's the hookup or new friend who posts on your wall as though it's your DMs. Sometimes it's just that they aren't very good at social media. Sometimes though, they're marking their territory. If you find that your new FaceBook friend likes posting these types of messages on your wall, the best way to counteract them is to reply via text or FaceBook Messenger. This makes sure that you're not ignoring the posts, but also not awkwardly bringing attention to your new "friend".
Depending on how you used FaceBook, this might not be an option for you, but if you want to make it so that people can't find you easily (if at all) on FaceBook, that can reduce the frequency that this sort of thing happens to you. The first and easiest method is to make it so that your profile picture isn't a picture of you. It can be a picture of your favorite musician or actor. It can be a picture of a cute dog with a piece of pizza in its mouth. It doesn't really matter. Just so long as it isn't you. Make sure that all of your other photos are set to "friends only", and your profile picture will be the only picture that people will be able to see when they search for you on FaceBook. Unless you have a uncommon name, there's likely to be multiple people with your name on FaceBook, and your hookup won't be able to send you a friend request with certainty. They might still send one, but because they won't know if it's actually you or not, you can ignore it with no consequence. Another setting that the site offers, and that if you don't use the site for networking, is tremendous, is the option to make your profile not show up in their database when people search for you. You can set it so that only you can add other people, or that people have to search for you with your e-mail address, which ensures that you know everyone who's sending you friend requests.
Gladly (and quickly if possible) adding your hookup to FaceBook will go a long way (whether that's reasonable or not) towards in your hookup's books. We're certain of it. There's even a track on Frank Ocean's album, "Blond" about the strange resistance (or insistence, depending on which side of the argument you fall on) to adding people to FaceBook as a way to prove that you like them, even if in real life you make it clear as day that you're a big fan of someone. Social media has changed the way we interact with each other drastically. Some of it good, and some of it bad. We definitely used to really enjoy the days when you could hookup with someone, and then not hear from them until you called them up and made plans. Those days are long gone though. Now, you'll know what they're up to on sometimes an hourly basis, depending on how bad their addiction to FaceBook is, and how long their cell phone battery lasts. Consider the number of friends that you get to stay in more frequent contact with though (even if in a round about way), and how much more plugged into the world around you you can feel just by spending 5 minutes on social media. It's a blessing and a curse. Focus on the blessing, and pray that the curse won't be that bad.